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The Final Chapter…In One Book…of a Multi-Part Series

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A very upset heron trying to find some solitude

My 2017 adventure has come to an end. Not for any one reason, but because of several deciding factors. The first being that I’ve been out of money for at least two months now and I’m unwisely racking up debt. Followed by my desire to not walk in wind and rain. In spite of my best efforts, I’m a fair-weather hiker. 

The last of the sunny days in Oregon

Today I got pelted by sand flying at me at 65 mph (according to the weather report). There’s also that I wanted to surprise my parents for the holidays. 

Waterfall on the beach after wine tasting

Then a number of small reasons: my feet hurt, I’m tired, my mind is restless, I’m itching to start building toward my next goal and next adventures, I need to exercise my mind for a while because I feel myself going dim.

Formations in the rocks on the windiest day on the trail

I have had time to reflect on my life, and on my hike. In the beginning, if you remember, a trail angel said that he did his thru-hike in stages. California was to think about his past, Oregon was to think about his present, and Washington was to think about his future. Mine was in a slightly different order, but it’s the same in essence. What I’ve come up with is this:

Scott modeling the intensity of the wind


Past:

My past really doesn’t matter anymore. It happened and much of it sucked (my 20’s). I imagine that memories will grace me from time to time and I’ll scowl in disgust before moving on. The people in my past will remain there and they will never be part of my present or future. It’s not that I can’t forgive, it’s just that forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to make the same mistakes again. Lessons learned.

A slew of sea lions, defiantly relaxing outside of the sea lion caves that some jerks are charging people $17 to see. These sea lions refuse to be tamed. 

Present:

Shhh…don’t tell anyone that I’m listening to the menacing wind from the comfort of a hotel room, where I’ve been for a few days. I’m going to say that my “present” is everything that has happened on this long journey. 

Bridge on the way out of Florence

Many of you have been following along, reading about my complaining, frustration, awe, and whatever mood swing I was spiraling through at the time. 

Soaked up to the crotch by a rogue wave. If only you heard me scream.

This hike has been the single most meaningful journey of my life. I know I am going go struggle to explain its significance because, unless you’ve been there, there’s no way you will really get it (See: “Adventure Types”).

After our wet day with the wave, drunk sliding was in order


I don’t know that I’m much more confident than when I started, but perhaps more determined to succeed? I don’t know that I’m much more fit, but maybe habituated to move? Not wiser, but proceeding with a clear mind. Not more creative, but more inspired. Not more alive, but maybe I’ve finally woken up. 

Saying goodbye to Scott

At one of my weakest moments, my brother wrote encouragement that I’ll never forget. “You never started this adventure to compare how much better someone is than someone else; you started it to be better than yourself when you started.” I may not be anywhere near my goals or anywhere near being the person I want to be, but for the first time in years, I’ve taken a step forward. 3,081,178 steps to be precise.

Driving 1000 miles to surprise Scott for his birthday and finding him within 30 minutes of getting into the area


I am proud of myself. I’ve met amazing people. I’ve seen things that brought me to tears. I’ve been places that many people will never go. I’ve done things that some will never do. I found pieces of myself that I thought were lost forever. I found a reason to have faith in people. I started to dream bigger. I’ve accomplished so much more in this journey than I ever thought I would. Which brings me to…

Gorgeous evening finding Scott


Future:
I’ve gone over dozens upon dozens of life scenarios. I think I’ve found one that fits. (Fingers crossed). I found a lovely program in the Peace Corps, hiking 6 miles every day to a tiny school in Nicaragua, to educate children about the importance of preserving the rainforest.

Top 2 sunsets

In my journey this year, my hiking partner and I met a very nice man who worked for the forest service. We were discussing clear-cutting with him. He was happy and adamantly proclaimed “it’s good for the birds.” This man was not evil or vindictive. He was simply not educated on the subject.

Geese hanging out until they go home in the spring

I’ve walked through many forests, and you know what I heard? Life. Everywhere. In abundance (with the exception of one creepy spot in Lassen). And you know what I heard in the clear-cut sections? Nothing. Complete silence. …it’s good for the birds.

Sunset eagle


Now you can imagine when I saw that rainforest program pop up again, how it just felt right. I think this year, I’ll be learning Spanish.

Late autumn trees


If the Peace Corps works out (I’ll blog about that too, contingent on internet availability), I will follow it with grad school…possibly a doctoral program in psychology. We’ll see. 

Coos Bay during a storm

I also will make art again. That is a certainty. And I will attempt the Pacific Crest Trail again because it was worth every struggle to get there. As far as love, it’s up in the air right now. Who can really know where that will go.

The owns who own the town, Orick, CA.


Thank you for coming on my journey with me. For assisting with my sanity. For encouragement. For company. For something to occupy my mind. I hope this inspired you to move from “dreamer” to “adventurer.”

Beautiful morning after sleeping in a parking lot on the way home


A river otter saying hello and upsetting anything with feathers


Small bird serenading me at sunrise


Beautiful sunrise on the very last day of my long journey


And a proper sendoff

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Adventure Types Footnote

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Fancy mushrooms

I’m writing this as a kind of footnote to my next blog which is already very long. This helps to describe people you’ll meet during a thru-hike, compartmentalized into very absurdly generalized categories.

Rewarding view after a long climb


Adventure Types:
In talking to people over the past 7 months, it’s funny the types of people you meet. I’m talking about strangers here, where it’s easy to lump them together. Hikers. Non-hikers. And dreamers. Or possibly adventurers/non-adventures would be more appropriate? It’s probably terrible to lump people into these categories, but for the sake of this story, just go with it.

Estuary with bald eagles

A hiker/adventurer, you can spot instantly. When you’ve been on a journey, long or short, that has significance to you, it changes you. I don’t know how and it’s difficult to explain, but you can see it in people. In a simple “hello,” there is a difference in the way people interact. When you say hello to a hiker/adventurer, it’s an instant spark of recognition, like talking to a favorite cousin. You’ll immediately fill each other in on the past few months of your lives. And offer any food or beverage you have in your possession.

Estuary again


When saying hello to a non-hiker/adventurer, it’s a curt acknowledgement. Enough to be polite, but not enough to get to know one another on any level. This kind of person will ask about your hike because it scares them on some level. They want to share in your experiences for the main purpose of confirming that they never want to try it. This isn’t to say they don’t get out and do things, they just prefer to enjoy fun in a responsible fashion. Responsible doesn’t include vanishing from your life and job, then running out into the wilderness and doing everything your parents taught you not to do. For example, hiking alone, eating mounds of junk food, hitchhiking, talking to strangers, accepting food and candy from strangers, getting into windowless vans. It goes on like this. But you’ll never what this person does for fun because you are a stranger and they don’t want to talk to you.

Deer on the beach as we were watching whales

The dreamer often finds themselves right in the middle. They’re a little scared and a little too set in their life to make the journey. But they often become adventurers because it all sounds too good to pass up. Or they live in comfort while finding excitement in the adventures of others. Dreamers are often caring, generous, and encouraging. They may even talk others into adventures but still not go on any themselves. It’s a fine balance, but the scale is easily tipped because they’re just waiting for the right inspiration.

Sandstone cliffs at Pacific Beach


Pacific Beach Haystack Rock


Searching for glass floats in Lincoln City. There wasn’t a treasure at the end of the rainbow.


Tide coming in at Lincoln City


Colorful Tidepools

 

Rain and Concrete

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The shipwreck at Fort Stevens that has no historical significance

Here I am. Still walking through Oregon. I got my hiking partner back and we only want to kill each other every other day.  Oregon tried to make a nice trail, but fell short when they made most of the trail follow hwy 101. Walking along the highway is one of the most unpleasant things. Give me snow, give me a 4000 ft climb, anything but road-walking. Walking along the road raises your anxiety, is harder on your body, and harder on your spirit. Then it starts raining.

The beginning of the trail

I spend most of my time these days coming up with reasons not to quit. There are too many temptations here. Food, hotels, that convenient bus that keeps driving by. On the PCT, you’re forced to be in the wilderness and just accept it because you have no other choice but to walk to the next town.

Thousands of tiny jellyfish

 There is no cell service out there, no internet, no cars, and less distractions. Here, just one phone call and you could be home…dry…next to a fire.

Hiker huts to dry off in

The coast does have its pleasant aspects. It has showers. I never have to go more than a day or two without a shower. All the state parks that allow camping have hot showers. I also don’t have to carry a lot of food. This is why I’m constantly perplexed by why my pack is still heavy.

Thrilled for sun after a very wet day

I get rained on, at least to some degree, nearly every day. I wore so much rain gear yesterday that I ended up sweating through all my clothes and was drenched at the end of the day anyway. The other day I had to walk around with wet, salty feet because the waves wouldn’t go out long enough to let me run by the cliffs.

The Haystack at Cannon Beach

Today, the weather will be much worse and the day will be spent hiding in the tent to let my stuff dry. This is what I get for refusing to let go of summer.

Where my pathway should be

The towns are neat little beach cities with gorgeous art and sometimes really good food. Cannon Beach has been the best for both of those. But in Pacific City, while having lunch at the Pelican Brewery, we had the pleasure of watching two humpback whales play less than 100 feet from shore. Then two deer ran across the sand.

Watching tidepools as I figure out how to get off that rock

The forecast for the foreseeable future calls for more rain. I hope there are more whales to keep my spirit up.

Making friends with newts

Beautiful cliffside overlooking Manzanita

A log that refused to die

A midnight shot of the moon

Interesting wood with Twin Rocks in the background

Beautiful glowing, misty morning

Even the rocks in the bay are pretty

Taking the tracks to avoid the roads

Keeping balance while walking on the railroad bridges

Best grilled cheese sandwich ever